I don’t watch much t.v. and on the occasion that I do it is normally Law & Order or something that doesn’t require me to be series loyal.
One day I decided to take a couple of days off work because I was tired so I actually made myself sit down and watch some television. As I am channel surfing, I run across the show “Real Housewives of Atlanta.” Now normally I’d speed dial right past that show because one of my pet peeves is to watch women divided and being messy displayed for all the world to see. But I said no, let me see what all the hype is about.
As I am watching, I see how Kim Fields is being teased (underhandedly I might add) because she doesn’t drink and hang out because she says when she is not working she is all about her family. And this comes from a woman who desires what she has “a family.” I also see where Phaedra and Kandi (assumed good friends) have had a falling out or misunderstanding and has selected to sit down and talk about it. After tears have fallen, the air has been cleared and the ladies part ways. Kandi’s assistant enters the room and proceeds to talk Kandi down from getting past she & Phaedra’s “issue.” In the beginning Kandi defends Phaedra but he continues to tear Phaedra down to the point that Kandi is left scratching her head wondering if Phaedra was really being genuine.
This really bothered me when I saw this because my thoughts were: Why is he enjoying this division and Kandi is pregnant and she doesn’t need anymore “extra” drama.
It made me evaluate my dealings with people. Am I the Kandi or am I the one talking negativity in her ear? Anyone who speaks against forgiving another isn’t really your friend nor do they have your back. Forgiveness is something that we must do in order to live fulfilled lives. Think about that for just a moment. Forgiveness gives YOU freedom and will eventually bring YOU healing. What type of friend would not want that for YOU?
Whether you represent the “ear” or the “talker” be careful and allow yourself to have the final say. Influence can be a good thing; however if another person’s words are negative and cause division than you really should consider their motive.
Kandi and Phaedra may not ever fully restore their friendship; however that is between the two of them. Forgiving doesn’t mean that the friendship will remain at the same level as before; however it allows for the space and opportunity for a fresh new start.
So I ask, “Who’s talking in your ear?”