As someone who has experienced church hurt, I felt it would be therapeautic to write.
When this occurred to me I felt a little lost, embarrassed and most of all angry. I didn’t care if I never saw the faces of some of those people again in life. I was dead set on holding a grudge until the end of time (unfortunately).
For many, church hurt will cause them to walk away from the church and never to return and this is such a dangerous stance for them to have. In this case, the “church” has lost its witness. On social media I’ve seen the craziest memes that places the blame on the hurt and doesn’t call the “church” to be held accountable. Don’t get me wrong, if ONE person within the church has hurt you, it isn’t fair to condemn the entire congregation. At the same time, I’ve encountered some of the nastiest attitudes from some of my fellow believers. This shouldn’t be. Of course we are all striving to grow because the “church” house is where we go to be helped, delivered and set free and that is a process; however those things come through correction and humility. We have to do better but that particular topic isn’t what I’m here to discuss.
To those hurt consider this: did you accept Christ because of the church folk? I ask this because it is imperative that we keep the main thing the main thing. I adore the praise team and choir as a music head. The Word of God that is preached by the Man of God at my church brings everything it aught to ignite growth & conviction in my life. And those things I consider the icing on the cake. The “cake” however is my Savior, the God of a second chance, my Sovereign God (I could go on and on here). The bottom line is there is and shouldn’t be anything the “church” could do that would draw me away from My God.
It would be remise for anyone to minimize your hurt heart and the pain that comes with it and sure it may take some time to trust “folk” again but NEVER question God’s love and purpose for you. He is a healer and he WILL mend those wounds. His desire may be for the purpose for you to encourage someone else on the other side of this.
It is the trick of the enemy to isolate yourself so by no means IF you decided to leave the place where you were hurt – have friends and family to suggest other churches you can visit while God is doing His perfect work in you. Stay in God’s word and allow Him to speak to your heart. Make sure you connect with a seasoned saint you can trust,express yourself to, cry on their shoulder and keep you covered in prayer.
Remember that the house of God doesn’t mean that it is a place of perfection. It is actually a place to practice and walk out those principles that God has given us through His Word. We are all working to overcome our shortcomings. Consider those whom you may have hurt because we all fall short. Don’t place any man in a place of divinity in your life other than God Himself. Consider this: When your hurt on the job – do you quit and vow to never work again?
In the end, please know that you are not alone. You are loved. You have to trust that God has a plan for you and that won’t change until HE says its that time. I will share this: As I am exiting out of the season of healing from church hurt, the offense has caused me to trust slower BUT I do feel and sense the hope that I can be a faithful participant in my local church. I LOVE you and it is my desire to see you rejoice in you’re healing.
Trish Standley is a gospel recording artist and host of Style with Trysh radio show which airs every Sunday from 6-7 PM EST on http://www.stylewithtrysh.us – Find all things Trish by visiting her website at http://www.trishstandley.com